Why Blended Families Should Review Their Estate Plan the Week Before Thanksgiving
Blended families are increasingly common, and with them comes a more complex set of estate planning considerations. Whether you have stepchildren, remarried after divorce or widowhood, or share children across multiple households, your estate plan needs to be reviewed more frequently and more thoughtfully than the average family’s. The week before Thanksgiving is one of the best times to give this part of your life some focused attention. With family gatherings approaching, emotions naturally heighten, relationships become clearer, and priorities tend to come into sharper focus. This timing makes it easier to reflect on the practical and emotional dynamics that shape your estate plan. Blended families often have competing interests and delicate balances that require intentional planning. Without clear documents, updated beneficiaries, and well-structured strategies, misunderstandings and legal battles can arise after you’re gone. This blog explores why this pre-Thanksgiving window is ideal for reviewing an estate plan within a blended family, the specific issues to revisit, and the steps that can help you protect your spouse, your children, and your wishes.
Why Estate Planning Is Especially Critical for Blended Families
In a traditional family structure, assets often pass smoothly from one spouse to the other and eventually to the shared children. But in blended families, assumptions are dangerous. If your estate plan isn’t carefully drafted and consistently updated, unintended outcomes can occur. For example, assets meant for your biological children might legally default to your new spouse. Conversely, your spouse may be left without enough resources if everything automatically shifts to your children. Stepchildren are not automatically entitled to inherit unless you intentionally include them. This complexity requires a level of planning that goes beyond a standard estate plan. Without proper documents, state laws—not your wishes—will determine who receives your assets. The week before Thanksgiving gives you the emotional space to recognize these realities and address any blind spots.
Updating Beneficiaries: A Crucial Step for Blended Families
One of the biggest issues in blended family estate planning is outdated beneficiary designations. Bank accounts, retirement accounts, pensions, and life insurance policies all transfer based on beneficiary forms—not your will or trust. Many people unintentionally leave ex-spouses listed on older accounts. Others forget to add stepchildren or remove deceased relatives. In blended families, this can lead to painful outcomes. Imagine intending for your children to receive your life insurance, only for the payout to go to an ex-spouse. Or intending to provide for your spouse but having an outdated form that bypasses them. The week before Thanksgiving is an ideal time to log into your accounts or request updated forms. Because you may be around family or thinking about them more, you’re more aware of current relationships, responsibilities, and needs. This natural awareness helps you identify whether your listed beneficiaries still match your intentions. Correcting these forms now ensures that the right people will be cared for later.
Defining What You Want Your Spouse to Receive
In blended families, the balance between providing for a new spouse and providing for children from prior relationships can be delicate. Many people want to ensure that their spouse is financially secure but also want their children to receive a portion of what they’ve built. Traditional “all to spouse, then to kids” plans may not reflect your wishes or your family structure. Trusts are often used to create this balance. You might give your spouse access to income during their lifetime while preserving the principal for your children after your spouse passes. Alternatively, you might carve out specific assets—such as a home, inheritance, or family heirlooms—to go directly to your children. The week before Thanksgiving encourages reflection on what your spouse truly needs, what your children expect, and whether your plan currently reflects that balance. If you’ve remarried recently or if family dynamics have shifted since your last update, this is the time to adjust your documents.
Addressing Stepchildren in Your Estate Plan
Without specific legal language, stepchildren are generally not entitled to inherit anything from a stepparent. If you have a strong bond with your stepchildren and want them to be included, you must spell that out clearly. Conversely, if you do not intend for stepchildren to inherit, you still need clarity to avoid confusion or disputes. Thanksgiving week often brings stepchildren into the home for visits, gatherings, or holiday communication. These interactions can help clarify your intentions, whether that means including them in your plan, making specific gifts, or ensuring your biological children understand your decisions. Reviewing your documents this week allows you to affirm that everything aligns with your real relationships—not outdated assumptions.
Guardianship Considerations for Minor Children
If you have minor children from a previous relationship, guardianship arrangements become more complicated. The surviving biological parent typically assumes custody, but there are exceptions. If both parents agree on a guardian, or if there are concerns about a biological parent’s ability to care for a child, your estate plan should clearly document your wishes. The week before Thanksgiving is a natural time to revisit this because family gatherings tend to highlight who is most involved in your children’s lives, who they trust, and who realistically could care for them if needed. If you have blended children in the household, you may need separate guardianship plans for each child depending on their legal parents. This is one of the most overlooked—but most important—elements of a blended family estate plan.
House Ownership and What Happens After You’re Gone
One major source of conflict in blended families is the family home. If you own a home with your spouse but have children from a prior relationship, you must decide: Should your spouse be able to remain in the home for life? Should the house go directly to your children? Should you split ownership? The week before Thanksgiving often brings the household into focus—people are preparing rooms, cleaning spaces, and thinking about shared living arrangements. This makes it an ideal moment to review how your home is titled and what your estate plan says about it. Many families choose to allow a surviving spouse to remain in the home for a set number of years while still ensuring children ultimately inherit. Others choose lifetime rights for the spouse with ownership transferring to children upon the spouse’s death. No matter what your preference is, it needs to be clearly documented.
Reviewing Your Trust if You Created One After Remarriage
Many blended families use revocable living trusts to manage the complexities of remarriage, stepchildren, and asset distribution. But trusts are not static. If you created a trust when you remarried, it may need updates to reflect: new property, new children, changed family relationships, new financial accounts, changes in your spouse’s or children’s needs, or updated tax laws. The week before Thanksgiving gives you enough perspective and emotional clarity to assess whether your trust still reflects your priorities. If you’ve experienced life changes this year—marriage, divorce, births, deaths, or purchases—you should revisit the trust now rather than waiting until next year.
The Importance of Talking Openly (Even Briefly) This Week
Not every estate planning conversation needs to be a formal family meeting. Sometimes a simple conversation over coffee, during travel, or after dinner can clarify your wishes or confirm someone’s role. In blended families, communication is crucial to preventing conflict later. The week before Thanksgiving is one of the rare times when family members connect in person or are more accessible. Even a short discussion can prevent misunderstandings, resentment, or legal battles. While you don’t need to share dollar amounts or specific strategy details, clarity about roles—executor, trustee, guardian, Power of Attorney—can avoid significant issues later.
What This Means for Your Blended Family’s Future
Blended families face unique and sometimes complicated estate planning challenges. But with intentional updates and thoughtful planning, you can protect your spouse, your children, your stepchildren, and your wishes. The week before Thanksgiving is the perfect moment to revisit your documents, review your beneficiaries, reassess guardianship decisions, and make sure your estate plan aligns with your true priorities. Taking time now brings peace of mind into the holiday season and ensures that the people you care about are supported long after the celebrations have ended.
